Friday, 15 August 2008

Big Brother Aussie style

Day 11. 1.42pm. KP and his fellow housemates are all in bed. The Lions players, after their poor showing yesterday, are being taught how to bat properly. Matt Prior is still occasionally sobbing.

As a special prize for the England team, Big Brother has set up a live feed in to the Australian Big Brother house, hoping they can teach England how to win a one day game. KP and Matt Prior anxiously watch. Paul Collingwood has been banned from taking part in this task. The England team crowd around the television, and watch intently.

(The next part should be read with an Australian accent).

Big Brother calls Michael Clarke in to the Diary room.

Big Brother: "Ah look. Michael, as you are aware, Ricky has been removed from Big Brother while he sees a doctor about his dodgy wrist. It is therefore Big Brother's wish that you will now become Head of House."

Michael Clarke: "Ah look. That's great. I mean, not that Ricky's gone, but that I can have a practise as Head of House, so that when Ricky's voted out eventually, I'll know what it feels like to run the house."

BB: "Ah look. Big Brother understands that it is a big responsibility for someone so young, but BB feels that you are ready for the challenge."

MC: "Ah look. That's an honour Big Brother. Am I allowed to tell Nathan (Bracken) to get his hair cut like mine? I hate his hair, and it makes the house look scruffy. It's an honour to represent your country in Big Brother, and you should at least look smart."

BB: "Ah look. You're getting a bit big for your boots there mate. Head of House should just concern themselves with Big Brother's tasks, and not the appearance of other housemates."

MC: "Ah look. Fair enough. Is there any news of Matty (Hayden)?

BB: " Ah look. He's hurt his ankle while he was doing the barby, but he'll be right. Big Brother will keep you updated on his progress."

MC: "Ah look. OK, thanks Big Brother, I'll go and practise my coin tossing."

Tune in tomorrow to find out if KP has learned anything new from the Aussies that will come in handy against Big Brother South Africa.

There is still time to vote for who you want out of the Big Brother house (voting has been extended till Monday).

Those facing eviction: Matt Prior and Chris Tremlett.

Email nightwatchgirl@gmail.com with the person who you want evicted in the subject line. Emails are as cheap as they get, i.e. free, and therefore absolutely none of it is going to charity.

4 comments:

val blundell said...

Isn't it funny how you can 'read' in an Australian accent?
Can't wait to see if KP and the boys have learned anything!

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Nightwatchgirl suspects that KP already knows it all.

val blundell said...

Is that KP 'thinks' he knows it all?
Or are you of the same opinion as me..'reckons he knows it all?' :-p

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Nightwatchgirl has a feeling that KP thinks he knows it all, which to him most likely means he reckons he knows it all.

This can only be challenged by repeatedly losing game after game, which shouldn't be too much of a stretch given England's record of late. This will then prove KP is not a genetically modified Ian Botham/Viv Richards/Steve Waugh experiment and that he is as human as Nightwatchgirl.