Saturday, 30 August 2008

Cod you Believe it?*

Forget the Fredalo incident; cricket has a new bad man of the game and his name is also Andrew: Andrew Symonds.

Symonds was banned from playing in the ODI against Bangladesh today, after missing the team meeting before the game (and an optional training session). And this was no rock and roll mistake. There was no booze, pedaloes or women involved. Symonds went fishing.

At least when Freddy decided it was a good idea to swim back to Britain after drinking half of the West Indies it was after England played the game.

Still, Australia, ever the professionals, posted a healthy score of 254 after losing the toss (wait a second, England managed 296 against the second best ODI team in the world, what's Bangladesh's rating?....minor point, I won't dwell). Bangladesh were all out for 74.

Symonds will play no further part in the ODI series and has been banished back to Queensland where Michael Clarke hopes he can "have some time away from the game." (Never a good sign when your captain needs to remind you that "you need to be committed 100%.").

Nightwatchgirl had the pleasure when she was in Australia to catch an inspiring interview with Andrew Symonds about his hobbies outside the game. All Nightwatchgirl can remember is the sentence: "oh, I like fishing." It seems some habits will come and bite you in the....

There were too many possible headlines for Nightwatchgirl to choose from, so she thought it was probably best to include the others that didn't make the cod, I mean cut.

*Sweetlips Symonds is skating on thin ice.
*Symonds Flakes out of ODI.
*No Wahoo for Symonds.
*No Plaice for Symonds
*Symonds makes a mist-hake.

Further suggestions are welcome.




9 comments:

GoodCricketWicket said...

My headline suggestions:

-Symonds dropped after errant catch
-Almighty Huss as Symonds banned

Cricet Australia calls it a minor incident - Symonds didn't know that a meeting had been called.

Doesn't quite match getting drunk and embarrasing yourself in a pedalo for me.

chinaman said...

You are the master of headlines, (I really like the skating..)
I am unable to create any catchy ones so I'll suggest a few words and rely on your imaginative wit-

hook
line
net(s)

batter

they all have legit cricket links, being Indian I need to be careful - anything can be misconstrued as racial.

Val Blundell said...

This is the funniest thing i've read about 'Birmingham Born Andrew Symonds' in ages!
How macho of the guy..fishing?
I do hope he will be present at Edgbaston next summer.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Excellent suggestions from goodcricketwicket and of course the ever-reliable Chinaman. Nightwatchgirl has a few more to add:

Hake That!
Symonds caught Hook, Line Sinker.
Michael Shark(e)guts Symonds.

Val Blundell - if you live near Birmingham, perhaps a few suggestions of where Symonds can fish around that way would be helpful, for him and for England?

chinaman said...

Birmingham, hmmm
wasn't that Bill Oddie's natural habitat?
Perhaps he could give him some directions to pitch.

Goodies
(sorry you may be too young to remember them).

Val Blundell said...

Most definately...I will have plenty of tips for Roy during the summer of 2009 including a tour of the best drinking holes that he could frequent on a trip to his birthplace.
Just don't tell Pup!

Oomby Dave said...

Ok let's get one thing straight, Cod maybe common place (and i'm sure a good fish to catch in England) but here in the best country in the world he was out Barramundi fishing, quite possibly the best fish in the world. Over here eating cod is like eating sandpaper... with poo on it.

And I can't understand why you bag Symonds out for being born in England (the one thing he regrets the most im sure) when you CAPTAIN is an arrogant swine from South Africa. If you give you gotta be able to take it...

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Thanks for the graphic image of cod poo. Pleasant.

What about Roy caught playing craps with Silver Jack?

Or to illustrate my skills in maths: Roy + Barramundi + alcohol = no cricket.

Or, Barramundi batters Symonds out of the ground.

Val Blundell said...

oomby dave, we don't have many opportunities to take the mickey out of you Aussies, so just a tiny little thing like Roy being born in Warwickshire..MY county, is a sweet little gem for me to role out every time he's in the headlines, it's made even more enjoyable by the fact that he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact.
Please don't think for one minute that i am upset by your comment about 'big show' either.
Personally..i can't stand him.
He would NEVER have been my choice for captain but unfortunately, there was no-one else in the running.
Now that doesn't mean i would not get behind him.
I just feel that it's too much too soon.
Ok, he's done a good job so far but i really don't think he's had any situations that have tested his captaincy.
I do see troubled times ahead, it happens to the best captains in the world.
At the moment he can do no wrong, just wait until the wheel comes off because it will at some point.
Wait and see how the wonderful media in this country will turn on him.