Monday, 18 August 2008

The Line-Up

Nightwatchgirl is pleased to present the England team. The exact line-up for tomorrow has not been announced yet, but most of these players will feature tomorrow.

Ian Bell :
Identifying features: he's tiddly, has an elvis-lip and bleached blonde hair that looks like it needs a cut.
Role in England: Excellent batsman (when on form - which is pretty often). Brilliant fielder.

Matt Prior:
Identifying features: he's bald (recurrent theme for England wicketkeepers?), also quite small. And has an earring (why?).
Role in England: wicketkeeper, and opening batsman (both of which are sometimes questionable).

Owais Shah:
Identifying features: always has his top button done up on his England shirt, a cheeky grin as he smacks a ball for six (frequent occurrence - he doesn't like to hang around).
Role in England: to score as many runs as possible as quickly as possible. Not the best fielder in the team, and that's being kind.

Kevin Pietersen: (captain)
Identifying features: shaved head, huge England tattoo on his arm, when batting constantly taking his gloves off and then putting them back on (why? it's annoying). South African accent.
Role in England: to destroy opposition with as many huge shots as possible. Also gets out frequently by hitting as many huge shots as possible. Pretty good fielder, but catches aren't always safe in his hands.

Ravi Bopara:
Identifying features: cute teddy-bear face, nearly always smiling or deep in concentration.
Role in England: very handy with the bat and can bowl. Bonus.

Andrew Flintoff:
Identifying features: everyone knows what Freddy looks like. Not necessary to explain.
Role in England: excellent quick bowler, takes many, many wickets (especially it seems when they are most needed - strange) and can be great batsman, smacking the ball to all parts of the ground with no more than a little pat. Been out of the game for a long time because of injury, his batting is yet to catch up with his bowling (fingers crossed it happens soon).

Luke Wright:
Identifying features: bleached blonde hair, quite small, always grinning.
Role in England: can be great batsman, but still seems a bit nervous playing for England, also bowls and gets a fair amount of wickets, too.

Stuart Broad:
Identifying features: he's as tall and skinny as a tall skinny building (?). Blonde hair. Looks about 12.
Role in England: primarily brought in to the team as a bowler, but also developing brilliant skill as a batsman. Handy to have around.

Graeme Swann:
Identifying features: blonde hair. Will lose a game for England if need to (Nightwatchgirl still has not forgiven him for the New Zealand ODI game at the Oval).
Role in England: an alright batsman, but in the team for his bowling (spin), takes important wickets on a regular basis.

James Anderson:
Identifying features: nice hair, nice eyes, (Nightwatchgirl is getting carried away), doesn't have blonde hair (it's brown).
Role in England: when on song, he's a seriously good bowler. Can also bat occasionally.

Ryan Sidebottom:
Identifying features: crazy, brown curly hair that he loves a little too much for Nightwatchgirl's liking. Shouts at fielders when they don't collect the ball in two seconds. Also very moody.
Role in England: bowler, not very good fielder.


Anonymous said...

Ryan Sidebottom:
Wasn't he the one on the cross singing "always look on the bright side..."?

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Ryan can't sing. He also can't take a joke. Unless evidence is supplied, stop spreading vicious rumours, Chinaman.

Anonymous said...

Thank you nightwatch girl! Now I will be able to impress everyone with my knowledge of the team's tatoos and beautiful eyes! Essential.

Anonymous said...

Rumour it isn't -
I got proof


The Nightwatchgirl said...

I take everything back Chinaman. You are indeed the fountain of all knowledge.