Tuesday, 2 September 2008

The No-Fun Stadium

The last ODI of the England v South Africa series takes place at the SWALEC stadium in Cardiff (billed as 'Feel the Pride'). Is it possible to come out with a more hideously, yet brilliantly (and unsexy) catchy name for a stadium? Answers on a postcard please.

A quick perusal of their website reveals that there are still tickets available (sack the PR team immediately) and they've had some nifty work refurbishing the ground. Their Pavilion is aptly named the 'Really Welsh Pavilion.' Further comment is not necessary.

What struck Nightwatchgirl was the long list of don'ts (not that many do's either, except you used to be able to take your dog to the cricket with you, very handy for the long list of hounds that appreciate a forward drive past the bowler. Alas, Rover will now have to stay at home and watch it on Sky).

Spectators are not permitted to:

1. Smoke. Unless quarantined in special 'areas' (most likely to be found outside the ground, in a hut five miles away from the action). When will the persecution end?

2. Bring in alcohol. Not a new practise, but they will be restricting spectators to four drinks in one transaction. What about friend no.5? Some type of relay will have to be relied upon, which is always going to end badly given this involves alcohol (and the GB efforts during the Olympics in the relay illustrate that even without alcohol, we suck).

3. Use of mobile phones. What? When did it become frowned upon to ring up your friends to show off the fact you're at the game, beer in hand, and they're stuck behind a desk, frowning and annoyed?

4. Bring in musical instruments. This is getting beyond a joke. Mr. Trumpeter from the Barmy Army provides excellent musical accompaniment to the game at often crucial moments. Nightwatchgirl is also pretty handy on the Cello. Shame.

5. Radios without headphones. Who does that anyway? Nightwatchgirl has been to many, many games and as yet has never seen such a phenomenon.

6. And this is the worst one: "Any other items which could be construed to be disturbing the peace of a fellow spectator." Erm. How about the security man taking away my trombone, my mobile and my radio blaring TMS (Test Match Special) at full volume? Remove him at once.

Cricket is being invaded by a bizarre cricket version of political correctness that is destroying parts of a day at the cricket that have been viewed as sacred. When will it end? No talking? No laughing? No Mexican waves?

Something needs to be done. A petition must be started immediately.


Anonymous said...

Where do I sign?

At a recent ODI at Bristol I was told to put my camera away as it was 'too professional looking'. Bearing in mind I was sitting in the back row and the size of my lens is about a tenth of those stuck on the cameras of the pros sitting on the boundary, I hardly think gettyimages are going to be worried.


(love the blog, by the way - JRod pointed me in this direction)

DreamDancer said...

This is getting ridiculous. What next - no children as they are too loud/small/pay less for their tickets?

Thanks for adding me to your blog list by the way :)

Val Blundell said...

Hello Mel

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Hey Mel,

How can someone's camera be 'too big.' Was it reflecting light at the batsmen? Was it attracting magpies thinking it was a nice piece of jewellery? When will this madness end?

Perhaps a petition on the No. 10 website?

Thanks for the nice words, Mel. Nightwatchgirl welcomes a friendly comment.

Unknown said...

At the oval once i had to drink all my cans of drink before i walked in - i happily did it haha! Atleast the new Cardiff ground's name is better than the old one; it sounded like one of the wonders of the world before,

Anonymous said...

The Oval is a miserable place to watch international cricket and it seems that the Taffy Arena is going to be just as bad. At one game at the Oval a friend of mine wasn't aware that you couldn't bring in wine, as you can at Lord's, so when the steward tried to confiscate his bottle, he gave it to an already drunk tramp outside the game instead. Well done Surrey, how to treat your customers like criminals and boost the crime in Kennington at the same stroke

Unknown said...

oh no, i disagree there. The Oval has the best atmosphere out of all the Test match grounds in England. That's a pretty well known fact that the fans are great and the buzz is even better. Their rules are rubbish but it is a great ground (my favourite) and has an amazing atmosphere to it.

Val Blundell said...

I can't comment on the Oval as i've never been there.
To me, you can't beat the Eric Hollies full to capacity and beer in full flow!
However, there does seem to be a disturbing trend with the Green Team to be as difficult as possible when it comes to the most well behaved of spectator there is in the world..the cricket fan!
I have seen some shocking jobsworth attitude at the internationals this year.
A poor old chap had all his cans of coke removed from his bag..then was recorded on video by some knob of a supervisor for being aggressive!!
The aggressor was the dickhead (sorry) in green, not the WCCC member...i felt so sorry for him.
That sort of experience could have ruined his whole day..i was disgusted at his treatment..and let the club know just how these little Hitlers are on match days.
I know it probably won't have done much good but it made me feel better.
At the same test match, my friend wasn't allowed to take her camera in either.
She's got one like Mel's..they
said the press association had made complaints!!
It's ridiculous...their photo's are used for social purposes only...damn good photos they are too.
Maybe they're worried about the competition!
See Facebook to see what i mean.
I don't know why cricket seems to be getting a rough ride at the moment..i've always enjoyed the freedom we have compared to that of football fans.
I sincerely hope it doesn't get ruined by over zealous stewarding.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Now it makes sense Val, it's the photographers who are feeling all jealous and insecure. Get them to a shrink post haste.

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