Friday, 3 October 2008

The 1st Nighties Awards Ceremony

Nightwatchgirl has of late been feeling left out. It seems all the cool blogs are giving awards out here, there and everywhere.

So, not one to be left behind, NWG introduces you to the Nighties. An award ceremony so lush, so lavish, so extravagant that every player in the world wants to get their hands on one of these bad boys.

Awards are based entirely on NWG's opinion on any particular day; she, like every other woman in the world, can and regularly does, change her mind on everything (especially when it comes to cricket).

And without wasting another second: the awards...

The Nightie for Best Eyelashes: Alastair Cook (but seriously, does he wear mascara? Because that's in a similar vein to taking drugs to make you run faster - it's wrong to cheat).

The Nightie for Most Stroppy Player: Ryan Sidebottom (who else?).

The Nightie for Worst Overthrow of the Century: Graeme Swann (damn him).

The Nightie for Best Comeback: Joint Winners - Andrew Flintoff and Steve Harmison.

The Nightie for The Whitest Whites You Can Get: England's new Test outfit.

The Nightie for Most Over-Looked Player of the Season: Matthew Hoggard (aka Ernie's Dad).

The Nightie for Best Haircut: Joint winners - Andrew Flintoff and Kevin Pietersen (for keeping it simple).

The Nightie for Missing Important Games: Andrew Symonds (fishing anyone?).

The Nightie for the Player Impossible to Get Out: Neil McKenzie (annoying, but true).

The Nightie for Retiring to Put England Out of Their Misery: Shane Warne (thank you).

The Nightie for Greatest Twenty20 Innings of the Season: Graham Napier (should be in the Stanford Team).

The Nightie for Best Eyebrows: James Anderson (it's like they're out of Sesame Street).

And finally. The most important award of all (drum roll):

The Nightie for Best Adapted Screen Play of a Cricketer's Life: Shane Warne - The Musical.

And so, above the loud and constant applause, the 1st Nighties is over. And what a night is has been. Laughter, tears, drama and a bit of fighting (you guessed it), the award ceremony was a huge success. Of course, there were those who lost out, who go home empty handed, but there is always next time. They can improve. They can work hard. The Nighties will always recognise hard graft.

Adieu and congratulations to all the winners (and losers).

Nightwatchgirl must get changed out of her red carpet-ready dress, her five inch heels and finally have a sit down. It's been emotional.


Anonymous said...

Do you have a picture of the 'nightie' award - just curious.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

NWG forgot her camera. Annoying, because she could have had several compromising pictures to sell to the News of the World...

David said...

I gotta say I claim full rights to the use of 'Nightie', be assured i'll be taking you to the cleaners for a damn good spanking!

Liked this one tho: The Nightie for Retiring to Put England Out of Their Misery: Shane Warne (thank you).

Ah come out of retirement Warnie!

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Dave, I give you full rights over the Nighties. It was a low blow from NWG, she apologises as profusely as is possible between a respectable English girl and an Australian.
p.s. did you know that Australia eats more ice cream per head than any other country in the world? Fascinating, no?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, what I meant was am curious as to what the trophy looked like.

I let my idle mind work on it and have designed one - as am unable to post it here - am sending a sample by email for approval.

Maybe you could use it for next year.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Chinaman, gracious thanks for the picture. I'm so glad people get to see the award finally.

You get a free invite for the next ceremony.

Anonymous said...

Thanks NWG,
an invite to the 'Nighties 2009' - how can I refuse?
I am off to brush the tuxedo.

Anonymous said...

Very good entry. Anticipating the next one.