Sunday, 23 November 2008

From Politics To Sport: It's All Connected

It's come to Nightwatchgirl's attention that after Gordon Brown's new Cabinet bouncer, Liam Byrne, issued his "Working with Liam Byrne" manifesto, that Kevin Pietersen should do the same.

Liam Byrne: " I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30pm to 1pm. The room should be cleared before I arrive in the morning." Most importantly, he added this statement: " If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you."

KP, take heed from this valuable document. NWG has some tips:

1. When KP comes in for training, he expects his bat to be by the nets waiting for him.
2. KP wants a Red Bull at 9am, 12pm and 3pm, except on game day, when he requires one before England take the field and before he goes out to bat (and two will be required during the India series).
3. If KP asks you to bowl, take a wicket. Otherwise he will blame you.
4. When you go out to bat, score some runs. Otherwise KP will blame you.
5. Win. Otherwise KP will blame you.

If this doesn't help England win, Nightwatchgirl is all out of ideas.

p.s. No, you haven't missed the review of the ODI against India. Currently puddles are forming on the ground and the England team are drinking tea and discussing knitting patterns. A result looks unlikely. TBC....

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