Saturday, 16 August 2008

Hold the phone

After their Big Brother incarceration, the England Lions team finally learned a thing or two from the Australian house and beat South Africa today by six wickets. This was a marked improvement by the England Lions, facing a full strength South Africa.

Matt Prior, fresh from escaping eviction from the Big Brother house added a healthy 33 off 50 balls, but it was Patel (scoring 60 off 71), Shah (46) and Morgan (47) combined that clinched the victory.

All this is good news for the England camp as it shows South Africa to be human beings rather than cricket-playing aliens. The Twenty20 game on Wednesday (England v South Africa, 4pm) promises to be an interesting one (though Matt Prior is still on thin ice).

Nightwatchgirl has patted herself on the back for her efforts in making the Lions a team that can win (along with Mascarenhas and Trott). She expects a call from the England selectors imminently.

p.s. Nightwatchgirl does not wish to bring too much attention to the following fact, but with the addition of Ed Joyce (who was captain) and Eoin Morgan to the Lions team, it seems the win was largely due to two Ireland players (and if you count Darren Pattinson, then an Australian as well).  What this says about the other England players not chosen, Nightwatchgirl does not wish to even go there and consider it.

Eviction Night

"England Big Brother House, this is Nightwatchgirl; you are live on, please do not swear. The votes has been counted and verified and I can now reveal that the first player to be evicted from the Big Brother house is...................................(drum roll).

Chris Tremlett.

Chris please pack your bags. You have thirty minutes till I'm coming to get you."

Stuart Broad pretends to look sad. Matt Prior is once again sobbing, but this time with happiness and relief.

So there you have it readers, Chris Tremlett is out, and Matt Prior has survived a very tough vote. Let's hope the England selectors read Nightwatchgirl.

Democracy is the only fair way to decide selection, and democracy has spoken. Although under a Nightwatchgirl dictatorship, there would have been a double eviction.

Friday, 15 August 2008

Big Brother Aussie style

Day 11. 1.42pm. KP and his fellow housemates are all in bed. The Lions players, after their poor showing yesterday, are being taught how to bat properly. Matt Prior is still occasionally sobbing.

As a special prize for the England team, Big Brother has set up a live feed in to the Australian Big Brother house, hoping they can teach England how to win a one day game. KP and Matt Prior anxiously watch. Paul Collingwood has been banned from taking part in this task. The England team crowd around the television, and watch intently.

(The next part should be read with an Australian accent).

Big Brother calls Michael Clarke in to the Diary room.

Big Brother: "Ah look. Michael, as you are aware, Ricky has been removed from Big Brother while he sees a doctor about his dodgy wrist. It is therefore Big Brother's wish that you will now become Head of House."

Michael Clarke: "Ah look. That's great. I mean, not that Ricky's gone, but that I can have a practise as Head of House, so that when Ricky's voted out eventually, I'll know what it feels like to run the house."

BB: "Ah look. Big Brother understands that it is a big responsibility for someone so young, but BB feels that you are ready for the challenge."

MC: "Ah look. That's an honour Big Brother. Am I allowed to tell Nathan (Bracken) to get his hair cut like mine? I hate his hair, and it makes the house look scruffy. It's an honour to represent your country in Big Brother, and you should at least look smart."

BB: "Ah look. You're getting a bit big for your boots there mate. Head of House should just concern themselves with Big Brother's tasks, and not the appearance of other housemates."

MC: "Ah look. Fair enough. Is there any news of Matty (Hayden)?

BB: " Ah look. He's hurt his ankle while he was doing the barby, but he'll be right. Big Brother will keep you updated on his progress."

MC: "Ah look. OK, thanks Big Brother, I'll go and practise my coin tossing."

Tune in tomorrow to find out if KP has learned anything new from the Aussies that will come in handy against Big Brother South Africa.

There is still time to vote for who you want out of the Big Brother house (voting has been extended till Monday).

Those facing eviction: Matt Prior and Chris Tremlett.

Email with the person who you want evicted in the subject line. Emails are as cheap as they get, i.e. free, and therefore absolutely none of it is going to charity.

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Day 10 of KPs rule, Part II

(please continue in a Geordie accent for UK readers, for those in other countries, I have no idea what accent Big Brother commentators have).

Later that day, at 5.27pm, the England Lions team sit in the pavilion drinking cups of tea. The rest of the England team are still in bed, having paid no attention to the game whatsoever.

After posting a less than average score of 184, in 46.5 overs, the Lions were not surprisingly beaten by South Africa by four wickets. Big Brother announces that nominations will take place immediately.

Those up for eviction are:

Matt Prior - only scoring one run (nominated by Nightwatchgirl and Tim Ambrose).
Chris Tremlett - 5 overs for 31 runs - no wickets (nominated by Nightwatchgirl, Stuart Broad and Matthew Hoggard).

To evict Prior or Tremlett email with the name of the person you want evicted in the subject line. Emails cost nothing and no money will go to charity.

Find out who has been evicted tomorrow.

Day 10 of KP's rule, Part I

(whole article to be read in a geordie accent)

It's 2.28pm, day 10 in the Kevin Pietersen-England house. Some of the housemates are playing in the England Lions match against South Africa. The rest are still in bed.

Matt Prior, replacing Tim Ambrose as wicketkeeper for the One Day Series, has made a match-defying, place-snatching, record run (lbw off Nel's bowling). Big Brother calls Matt to the diary room.

Big Brother: "Matt, how are you feeling today?"

Matt Prior: "Big Brother, I'm normally such a brilliant batsman, that's why my old coach Mooresy chose me. I don't know what went wrong. My average is 21 runs and I only made 1. (sobs quietly into his sleeve).

BB: "Matt, Big Brother is always here for you when you need to talk. Perhaps your wicketkeeping will be a bit better than your batting for the South African innings."

MP: "I hope so Big Brother." (MP leaves the diary room and gets ready to take the field).

The second half of the programme will start after the match is over. Housemates will then have the chance to nominate later today. Head of House, KP, will be immune from nominations.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

ICC Rankings will Rankle KP

After Sri Lanka's win against India, and England's loss against South Africa, Sri Lanka now move ahead of England in the ICC rankings (England are now fifth).

This is worrying news for England fans, especially given Kevin Pietersen's fighting words after the Oval test against South Africa. KP happily declared that if England "play like we did this week we can beat Australia."

Oh KP. Why infuriate and rile the Australians any more than they are already when it comes to beating the English? Why can't England (or just Pietersen, at least) just go on their merry little way; playing games to the best of their ability, keeping quiet and looking pretty, and not giving interviews to all who'll listen about beating the Australians in 2009 after only winning one Test match out of four?

Please England, concentrate on one job at a time. England fans want to win the One Day series against South Africa first. Start talking Ashes after the West Indies tour next winter/spring.

Cricket goes worldwide

Nightwatchgirl is pleased to announce she has been added on

This website has the links to many other cricket websites and blogs around the globe.

Happy clicking, cricket fans.

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

The Polls are in

Forget the 2008 American Presidential Election; forget about Gordon and the Davids (that's Cameron and Miliband). The two most important results for this year are right here on this very website, brought to you only by Nightwatchgirl.

When asked who should have been England captain, a massive 41% of those polled believed Britney Spears should have been chosen: a very wise choice given her mental strength, her obvious skills for leadership, and of course, her batting average. I have been in contact with her representatives and, unfortunately, Spears would rather work on her 'singing career' than come to the aid of English cricket. Selfish girl (I hear her doosra is pretty useful).

Alastair Cook was also a popular choice with a healthy 22%, beating Kevin Pietersen (16%), Ian Bell (16%) and Sir Ian Botham (3%). What this says about KP, or about those people who have voted, Nightwatchgirl does not wish to comment.

However, the most frightening of all were the results for whether KP will make a good captain. Only 28% agreed he will. A whopping 46% believe it doesn't matter anyway because England have already lost the Ashes in 2009, without an Aussie even stepping on English soil. A most depressing thought given that the series is still a summer away.

Nightwatchgirl remains an optimist.

Monday, 11 August 2008

Scoreboard magic

The scoreboard proves it. England win the Oval Test.

Today at the Oval

England supporters cheer on a boundary

Cook Serves up the Perfect Starter

The Oval has once again come through for England today, as it provided their first win in the South Africa Test series. No matter that this win was just for pride (and KP's ego, no doubt), England proved that they have the capabilities and strength to knock down even the toughest of teams.

After a nervous and cautious start this morning, Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook piled on the runs (all 123 of them). But, as with all England run chases, a few careless strokes removed Cook, then Bell (bowled round his legs - unfortunate) and Pietersen in pretty quick succession.

It was Paul Collingwood, at last finding the middle of the bat, who came in to finish the job with Andrew Flintoff, who hit a magnificent and fitting six to finish off the game to rousing cheers from the crowd.

It was an entertaining day at the Oval, as each run was welcomed with huge applause and sheer relief. Nightwatchgirl even had the pleasure of seeing some pirates and fairies who had come along to see the game (good effort guys).

England now face a tough One Day series ahead (starting August 20), with no Steve Harmison (retired from ODIs) and Paul Collingwood (banned for the first three games). The only question remains is which England side will show up? The one that leaks runs, can't bowl a side out for love nor money, or the aggressive and determined team nightwatchgirl saw at the Oval today.

Kevin Pietersen has his work cut out.


middle of the bat - to hit a ball well and to where the batsman intends it to go.
to pile on the runs - to score plenty of runs (good)
ODI - One Day International - a 50 over game

Sunday, 10 August 2008

England finally learn their A.B.(c)s

Play has been abandoned for today, after dark clouds and rain descended upon the Oval. All this is good news for Nightwatchgirl, as she has tickets for tomorrow...

England will probably feel they have had the better day, managing at last to bowl South Africa out twice in one game, for 314. The only major hiccup for England now is going to be getting to the winning target of 197.

England's second innings was cut short in just the second over, due to bad light. But as with all things England at the moment, tomorrow's play will certainly be squirmy and nervous.

The highlight of the day must go to Monty Panesar's over against A.B. De Villiers, just after Paul Harris lost his wicket. It appeared that De Villiers was eager to hurry up and get his century, and after coming down the wicket to try and whack Monty to Big Ben, missed the ball and was bowled for 97.

Tomorrow's play will hopefully show that England are still up for the fight, even if it is only for some pride. Nightwatchgirl will be posting her blog as soon as she makes it home from the Oval.

The Sun has Got his Hat On

Nightwatchgirl has provided proof that today is far better weather than yesterday, from her very own camera (she is not far from the Oval).
Don't be fooled by Steve Harmison's hair - it seems to be wet whatever the weather (sweat? gel?). The sun is shining and a full day's play seems likely.