Friday, 3 October 2008

The 1st Nighties Awards Ceremony



Nightwatchgirl has of late been feeling left out. It seems all the cool blogs are giving awards out here, there and everywhere.

So, not one to be left behind, NWG introduces you to the Nighties. An award ceremony so lush, so lavish, so extravagant that every player in the world wants to get their hands on one of these bad boys.

Awards are based entirely on NWG's opinion on any particular day; she, like every other woman in the world, can and regularly does, change her mind on everything (especially when it comes to cricket).

And without wasting another second: the awards...

The Nightie for Best Eyelashes: Alastair Cook (but seriously, does he wear mascara? Because that's in a similar vein to taking drugs to make you run faster - it's wrong to cheat).

The Nightie for Most Stroppy Player: Ryan Sidebottom (who else?).

The Nightie for Worst Overthrow of the Century: Graeme Swann (damn him).

The Nightie for Best Comeback: Joint Winners - Andrew Flintoff and Steve Harmison.

The Nightie for The Whitest Whites You Can Get: England's new Test outfit.

The Nightie for Most Over-Looked Player of the Season: Matthew Hoggard (aka Ernie's Dad).

The Nightie for Best Haircut: Joint winners - Andrew Flintoff and Kevin Pietersen (for keeping it simple).

The Nightie for Missing Important Games: Andrew Symonds (fishing anyone?).

The Nightie for the Player Impossible to Get Out: Neil McKenzie (annoying, but true).

The Nightie for Retiring to Put England Out of Their Misery: Shane Warne (thank you).

The Nightie for Greatest Twenty20 Innings of the Season: Graham Napier (should be in the Stanford Team).

The Nightie for Best Eyebrows: James Anderson (it's like they're out of Sesame Street).

And finally. The most important award of all (drum roll):

The Nightie for Best Adapted Screen Play of a Cricketer's Life: Shane Warne - The Musical.

And so, above the loud and constant applause, the 1st Nighties is over. And what a night is has been. Laughter, tears, drama and a bit of fighting (you guessed it), the award ceremony was a huge success. Of course, there were those who lost out, who go home empty handed, but there is always next time. They can improve. They can work hard. The Nighties will always recognise hard graft.

Adieu and congratulations to all the winners (and losers).

Nightwatchgirl must get changed out of her red carpet-ready dress, her five inch heels and finally have a sit down. It's been emotional.


Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo

The England Test squad has been announced and not without a few surprises (or not, depending how cynical you are. Nightwatchgirl is off the scale).

As it had already become public knowledge that Michael Vaughan would not be included and instead be forced to remember what it's like to get in to double figures, who his spot would go to came down to Owais Shah and Ravi Bopara. Shah has won this particular battle, which is not that greater surprise given his performances with the bat against South Africa during the summer (albeit in the ODI format).

The two spinners up for one spot saw a victory for Graeme Swann (v Samit Patel), which seems a shame as Patel proved both useful with the ball and bat.

However, the hotly awaited race is once again involving the wicketkeeper. Can no one make up their mind? First Prior, then Ambrose, then Prior again and now the selectors, like a man choosing between a burger and a beer at the cricket, have included both in the 15 man squad. When will they make up their mind and stick with just one?

And who has sneaked in the back quietly and without much of a fanfare? None other than Mr. Moody himself - Ryan 'I'm-too-good-for-the-team' Sidebottom. Who will he be shouting at next? With his ridiculous wispy hair and his short temper, Nightwatchgirl can't help but think that having that sort of player on a team is not helpful for morale, but also Harmison, Broad, Flintoff and Anderson proved that England can do just fine (if not better) without him.

Nightwatchgirl applied for her tickets at Lord's for the Ashes yesterday. The game just got serious...

Monday, 29 September 2008

Shane Warne and the Technicolour Pill

Today is the day for news. Today reaches some kind of peak. Today is the best day so far, ever, in the universe.

Nightwatchgirl literally cannot type fast enough to get this blog out. For today (drum roll please) sees a story in The Sun that Shane Warne is having a musical made about his life (and no this is no April Fools, or September fools or whatever - this. is. real.) and it's due in Australia this December.

'Shane Warne - The Musical' (catchy title) has 24 songs and details his life in cricket, and the colourful one he enjoyed outside the game (notably diuretic pills and a lot of women). Song titles include: 'What an SMS I'm in,' and 'Take the Pill.' Genius.

Warne is far from pleased at all this attention and song-writing in his direction. Apparently he has had no say and not given the go-ahead (which also can be read to mean that he's not getting a cut of the profits). Warne also believes that 'it should be law' to 'have their permission off anyone to write about their life.' I bet that's not what Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat thought, or for that matter Simba from the Lion King and it did them no harm.

Facts still waiting to be proved correct:
1. Will the man (I assume it will be a man, and not like in Peter Pan, where Peter is always played by a girl) wear a fat suit at any time during the play?
2. Will there be actual cricket involved or just a lot of drinking and singing about girls?
3. Will his hair re-growth advert get a mention?
4. Will the musical be funny or in a similar vein to Les Miserables?
5. Will Warne go to see it?
6. When is it coming to the West End? Nightwatchgirl wants a ticket.