Christmas Will Be Cold

Miss Field; the brilliant; the witty; the Australia fan; has written an interesting piece this week involving calendars and cricketers not wearing very much.

This got Nightwatchgirl thinking. Surely the ECB would capitalise on the England cricket team's good looks? It's obvious they're short of money (else, why is NWG paying £95 a ticket for Lord's), so a calendar filled with England's finest would surely be a top seller.

Imagine, Ian Bell looking all surly and sultry in to the camera, or Paul Collingwood emerging from the water like Mitchell Johnson wearing not very much. Nightwatchgirl says yes please (and also realises sarcasm is hard to communicate by words alone).

So, Nightwatchgirl went looking. And there she found it. The ECB calendar. But were there any pictures of half dressed cricketers?

That's a no, then.

Instead, what's the best Team England can provide?

How did you guess?

What every cricket fan wants. A magnetised cricket ball that you can stick your paper clips too. How useful.

England, you must do better. Your country needs you.

Can That Be A Practice Match? Please?

Should Nightwatchgirl focus on the positives and ignore the fact that England were thrashed by 158 runs?

She'll try.

Positives:

1.Flintoff isn't injured.
2. Broad is back.
3. Bopara's batting was useful and confident.
4. The sky was very blue.
5. Nightwatchgirl can't think of another thing.

Negatives:

1.England failed to bowl India out.
2. England's batting was rubbish (exceptions: Pietersen and Bopara).
3. The whole experience is likely to be repeated on Monday, for ODI no.2.
4. India are looking worryingly brilliant, especially Yuvraj.
5. England were bowled out in 37 overs. At least finish at 50 lads. Come on.
6. Nightwatchgirl has been up a very long time, and it's only 10.30am.

Ashes Top 10 Heroes

Nightwatchgirl is very pleased to present her top 10 Ashes heroes on Line and Length.

Go on, have a look.

Give the ECB a Red Card

The news that a yellow card system will be introduced next season to those guilty of excessive sledging or appealing has upset Nightwatchgirl.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of banter. No one gets hurt. And it's also rather funny when picked up by the stump microphone. Who can forget Flintoff and Tino Best? (If you have, search youtube for it - it is brilliant).

Excessive appealing also has its perks. Monty and Warne (ok, so he is retired, but that's not the point) are and were both guilty of yelling a bit too often, but what's wrong with that?

Cricket runs the risk of cutting out parts of the game that provide endless entertainment. First it was no instruments taken in to the ground. Then the end of the beer glasses being piled up endlessly into long snakes. And now this.

Cricket is not a health and safety sport. There are no human right infringements on the field. And if things continue on at this pace there will be nothing left that is fun.

To the ICC and ECB: stop tweaking the rules. Leave things be. Let the fans and players enjoy themselves and cricket will remain cricket.

What's next? A player hurting himself and calling injury lawyers for compensation?

No.

Enough.

Sickness And Fitness Attack Strikes England Team

As if the beating yesterday wasn't enough for the England fan to take, it now has come to light that England may be a couple of bowlers light for the first ODI against India.

Ryan Sidebottom has an Achilles problem and Stuart Broad has a bad knee. Ryan is definitely out (such a shame, NWG is truly upset - sob), but Broad faces a fitness test tomorrow.

If he fails, England are in serious trouble.

This brings Nightwatchgirl to her most important sentence of her entire blogging career: The return of Matthew Hoggard. OK, so he's not technically in the England team at the moment, never mind the ODI squad, but (and it's a big but) he could be their saviour.

So, to Peter Moores, to Kevin Pietersen: pick Hoggard and save the series.

It's a risk, but he won't let you down.

It Doesn't Count So It Doesn't Matter....Or Something

Oh dear. Pietersen should be hanging his head in shame (and a duck to boot).

The Mumbai President's XI beat England, sorry Nightwatchgirl means thrashed, by 124 runs. Only Patel, Swann and Anderson got in to double figures. That's about as good as it gets.

What's the problem?

The openers failed.

The middle order failed.

The bowlers failed (and some called in sick).

Let's start with the excuses:

1. It's hot.

2. Bowlers were sick.

3. The batsmen aren't used to batting.

4. It's all an elaborate hoax to make the India side think the ODI series will be a walk in the park.

How clever.

India Take the Series and Roy Returns

India have won the Test series against Australia 2-0 today. The final Test at Nagpur proved too much for the Aussies, who lost by 172 runs.

England can take great hope from this series. Prick Australia and they will bleed. Even Ricky Ponting concedes that Australia did not play perfect cricket for once.

But England must also take heed. India are a nifty Test side and an even better One Day team. Packed full of batsmen in form and bowlers thirsty for wickets, KP and his team must be feeling a bit apprehensive. It will not be easy work for the up and coming series, starting next week, for England.

Some better news for the Australians. Andrew Symonds has been deemed to have completed "the prescribed welfare process" and is allowed back into the team to play a twenty20 game. No doubt, his fishing obsession is at an end and he remembers why he started playing cricket in the first place. Nightwatchgirl hopes so, anyway.

Any more disciplinary mistakes and Symonds could face the possibility of not returning to England next year. And Australia could probably do with an injection of plaice, whoops, NWG means pace.