Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Fact or Fiction?

Fact: India are brilliant.

Fiction: England are brilliant.

Fact: England can't play ODIs.

Fiction: England are 'improving.'

Fact: Pietersen is not the greatest England captain ever.

Fiction: Pietersen's century made a difference.

Fact: Training the day before a game is important.

Fiction: Talking before a game is just as useful as learning how to bat.

Symonds At It Again

Andrew Symonds has once again been forced to apologise to Australian fans and team mates after going out for a drink with the (shock, horror) losing Australian Rugby League side after the New Zealand Test Match at a hotel.

Symonds, trying to be contrite, said that he "had learnt a valuable lesson from this incident and I know that actions speak louder than words and that's how I will be judged."

Andrew: your actions are speaking louder than your words. You prefer fishing and drinking to practice and recovery. We get it.

And Nightwatchgirl is not complaining. In fact, she's pretty happy. All England need to do is provide a good fishing spot and some sporting friends to take him out for drinks during the Ashes.

Apparently, alcohol and sitting still for long periods are not known to increase a player's ability.

This is perfect.

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Why Practice When You Can Just Talk?

England have cancelled a training session today, opting instead for having a nice little chat round the fire.

In a warped attempt to find some answers for England's poor show in the India ODI series so far, Peter Moores et al now think that by talking this will somehow improve the players and help their batting and bowling.

Why does Nightwatchgirl have to do all the thinking for England?

Listen, KP, Moores, in fact everyone in the whole world: you can only get better with practice. This is a proven, scientific fact in the laws of nature. Jabbering about it, discussing the finer points of a forward drive, detailing how to bowl a yorker, will not make these things happen. They must be rehearsed. They must be done a thousand times.

Leave the talking to the people who have to put up with watching the game (and crying). You just get on and play. And try. And make an effort.

That is all we ask.

Sunday, 23 November 2008

India Singing In The Rain

Well, who'd have thought it?

A game was played. It rained a lot. And then stopped. And then rained again. They played a bit more. For a moment it looked slightly hopeful. And then England lost.

Again.

India take the series and England look and are defeated (only by 19 runs in the end).

Still, there is a slight glimmer of hope.

Owais Shah (72 off 48) batted like his life depended on it (KP, take note), Flintoff (41 off 30) finally started to play properly and Samit Patel bowled sensibly.

It just wasn't enough.

Now only pride is at stake. Will England rise to the challenge when the pressure is off?

From Politics To Sport: It's All Connected

It's come to Nightwatchgirl's attention that after Gordon Brown's new Cabinet bouncer, Liam Byrne, issued his "Working with Liam Byrne" manifesto, that Kevin Pietersen should do the same.

Liam Byrne: " I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30pm to 1pm. The room should be cleared before I arrive in the morning." Most importantly, he added this statement: " If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you."

KP, take heed from this valuable document. NWG has some tips:

1. When KP comes in for training, he expects his bat to be by the nets waiting for him.
2. KP wants a Red Bull at 9am, 12pm and 3pm, except on game day, when he requires one before England take the field and before he goes out to bat (and two will be required during the India series).
3. If KP asks you to bowl, take a wicket. Otherwise he will blame you.
4. When you go out to bat, score some runs. Otherwise KP will blame you.
5. Win. Otherwise KP will blame you.

If this doesn't help England win, Nightwatchgirl is all out of ideas.

p.s. No, you haven't missed the review of the ODI against India. Currently puddles are forming on the ground and the England team are drinking tea and discussing knitting patterns. A result looks unlikely. TBC....