Wednesday, 21 January 2009

England's Advice For the West Indies

England are currently flying over the Atlantic heading to the West Indies for their first tour since KP's 'episode.' And it's been Grame Swann who they've let speak to the press.

Swann says that Strauss has told the England squad that it's up to each of them to be prepared. This is slightly worrying. NWG imagines their training to be as follows:

Andrew Strauss: read notes on captaining. Speak to players about being well-behaved.
Andrew Flintoff: no drinking. Steer clear of pedaloes.
KP: keep mouth shut. Score a million runs (bloody captain, putting on all this pressure on me).
Matt Prior: try and be quiet to avoid attracting undue attention.
Alastair Cook: work on tan.
Ian Bell: be nice to Strauss.
Steve Harmison: bowl to the wicketkeeper.

3 comments:

Oomby Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oomby Dave said...

Isnt it great when a Pom turns against her team :P

And may I ask, why on god green earth is Ian Bell still doing in the side?

I thought he was useless in 05 and we're into 09!!! is he giving special favours to men in silly coloured hats and suits?

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Hey Oomby, no one's turning against anyone.

And Ian Bell is just waiting for the right moment to start scoring double century after double century....or something.