Thursday, 12 March 2009

The Pointless Awards

With the news that for some unknown reason Matt Prior was awarded man of the match, NWG has decided it's about time for some more (pointless) awards.

Award for wearing their wedding ring round their neck - Andrew Strauss

Award for most disappointing comeback after injury - Andrew Flintoff

Award for the country previously thrashed only for them to come back and do their own thrashing - Australia

Award for tallest player - Chris Tremlett

Award for most stylish interpretation of the referral signal - Chris 'I'm too cool for school' Gayle

Award for paternity leave - Matt Prior

Award for best sunglasses - Graeme Swann

Award for appealing when it's pointless - Monty Panesar

Award for most broken bones in their hands - Graeme Smith

Award for getting the word 'look' into every interview at least 50 times - Ricky Ponting (it was a tight race between all of the Australian team)

Award for the worst pitch - Antigua

Award for the best commentator talking constantly about how brilliant England is - Nasser Hussain

Award for best application of mascara - Alastair Cook

Award for their ability to catch - Paul Collingwood

Award for the umpire who kept a straight face and didn't have a fight with the bowler who referred his decision, especially when the bowler was found to be right - Darryl Harper

The special achievement award for being utterly pointless, yet also managing not to get sacked - Giles Clarke (standing ovation)


Anonymous said...

I think Karachi had to be the worst pitch. When a team (Pakistan) who haven't played in months can go out and get 700+...

Unknown said...

When Nasser kept getting broken fingers, they said he had hands like pappadams.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Karachi definitely gets an award for a pitch where too many runs are scored.

Nasser gets the paper hands award.

Thanks for the contributions.

Michael said...

Award for the sinfully omitted - James Foster

Anonymous said...

I'm not the only one who thinks Alastair Cook wears mascara then :-)

I see Michael Vaughan cracked a hundred against Surrey today. Wonder how Matthew Hoggard will do?