Saturday, 4 April 2009

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Kevin Who?

NWG is sick and tired of writing about KP and his latest outbursts (this time on how he wanted to go home in the middle of the Tests to see his poor, long-suffering wife).

Instead she has some handy hints for future England players:

1. Enjoy the fact that you are playing cricket for your country.
2. Never moan about it. Ever. No matter how bad it gets. Or if you do: retire and be done with it.
3. If you're a batsman, especially one that thinks you're brilliant, it means you have to be consistently brilliant. That means no ducks, no throwing your wicket away; just batting. Constantly.
4. If you're a bowler, bowl well. All the time. Don't retire because 'you miss your family,' only to make a comeback, go on tour constantly and then not bowl like you mean it.
5. If you are lucky enough to become captain, don't throw strops, don't try sacking coaching staff and try and win the odd toss or two.
6. Always remain positive.
7. Never moan about opposing players. About anything. Ever.
8. If you happen to be born in another country and then you qualify for the country you want to play for, never say that the particular country's fans don't support you or doubt you. It's amazing that if you're doing well, this will never be mentioned.
9. When some kind of franchise buys you to play extra cricket do not get injured. You may think that's impossible to prevent, but actually it isn't. If you're prone to injury it's very simple: don't play, no matter how much they're paying you.
10. If you're brave enough to accept a position playing for England it means you're brave enough to do anything. That means bowling at the death when immense pressure directed upon you will mean you perform better, not worse. Equally, if you're batting and required to hit the winning runs, you hit the winning runs. You don't get bowled, you don't get caught trying to hit a six for glory. You just do your job properly.

These handy hints will guarantee that you will become a success. And they're free. Don't say NWG doesn't help. She tries.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

What? What? What? Can It Be True?

Nightwatchgirl watched the game (well most of it, after ducking out for a bit to watch The Damned United - a very good film and then coming back to find she hadn't missed that much because of all the rain).

She saw Strauss hit the winning runs.

She saw the scorecard.

Yet she still can't believe.

England win by 9 wickets. How? What? Who?

Yes, Mr Duckworth and Mr Lewis helped out a bit with the rain. But England's batting performance was a world away from the last game. They actually looked like they knew what they were doing.

Excellent.

And it's officially summer time.

Joy.