There's A Reason Why

Neil Hannon, of the Divine Comedy, has teamed up with Thomas Walsh for a cricket album, entitled, funnily enough, The Duckworth Lewis Method.

There's a reason why there hasn't been many cricket songs in the past.

That's because it's a bad idea.

The best cricket song NWG has heard is the ABC Australian theme song for the cricket on the radio. That is genius (There's cricket on the radio and everything's ok).

NWG would welcome any other suggestions of other cricket songs that are not a) awful, b) embarrassing, c) ridiculous, d) meant as a serious song, but comes off as mad.

There is also a reason why no cricketer:

Has bought out a clothing range.

Has their own private plane.

Has their own cooking range (though Matthew Hayden may achieve this soon enough).

Has bought out an exercise video.

NWG Curses Every Human Joint/Muscle Group/Tendon

With less than 50 days to go, the nerves have started and the stomach is churning, which is the perfect opportunity for the England cricket team to start falling apart from the seams.

Predicted injuries include:

Banging knee when opening fridge for protein shake.

Falling down stairs on way to bat.

Playing a game of hitting each other with a cricket bat on the head to see who passes out first.

Whiplash caused by turning head too quickly to see a ball disappear for six.

Indigestion from too much carrot cake (a common injury).

Fractured hand from lack of co-ordination when trying to drink a pint.

Some type of finger injury from signing too many books during a signing.

Eye strain from playing a staring contest (and losing).

Stitches from a broken mirror after getting irritated with a new wrinkle.

A three day hangover.

Symonds Misses Out On Returning To Birthplace

Is it really that time already? Australia has announced their squad for the Ashes and it's making NWG nervous.

Poor Andrew Symonds. He misses out on returning to Birmingham. NWG feels for him. A bit. But lucky Shane Watson, although he did say that he feels "for one of your mates if he doesn't get picked." Yeah right.

But the biggest relief of all?

No Shane Warne. Finally. NWG had nightmares that he would be turning up in England this summer ready to wreak havoc on the poor England side.

Winning Is Brilliant

2-0.

Breaking news: England have a 100% record this summer.