Saturday, 15 August 2009

Breaking News

Another Englishman will play instead of Bopara.

His name is Trott and he's English. Alright?

English, NWG tells you.

Totally from England.

Ok. You've got it out of NWG.

He was born in South Africa.

Big deal.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Uh Oh

One week to go.

Seven days.

168 hours.

Seven tiny, weeny days for England to transform themselves into a cricket-winning machine.

Can it be done? Is there anything NWG can do to help England change their destiny?

Highly doubtful.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Ravi Ain't So Great

NWG doesn't want to be mean, but...

Bopara must be dropped.

Sorry Ravi. But it's true. She's not doubting your overall potential (yet to be realised). It's just, that right now, you are not fulfilling your cricket destiny (you are currently rubbish) and you can do so much better (i.e. score more than 10 runs at a time).

Please England, see sense.

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Freddy To Save The Day

Is it a bird?

A plane?

A cartoon character?

No. It's Andrew Flintoff. Coming to save the day.

English cricket is stuck on the ledge of a skyscraper. There's no way back. The only way to get down is to jump.

Freddy will catch you, England. Be brave.

Trust and be brave.

NWG fears this is their only hope.

Monday, 10 August 2009

NWG Is Calm

OK. NWG has calmed herself. Today is a new day. This week is a new week.

Let's begin again.

England are known for their good luck when it comes to finals (which is what the Oval effectively is).

Think of all the successful penalty shoot outs England has won.

Think of all the trophies there are in England's trophy case.

Don't worry all. It will be fine.

NWG has learned the art of zen.

Sunday, 9 August 2009

It's Not So Bad

It means that the Oval will be a good game.

Stuart Broad can bat.

So can Graeme Swann.

That's about it.