Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Well Well Well

Turns out the critics are all wrong (NWG included). The earth is still round. Matthew Hoggard is still the greatest cricketer of all time.


Paul Collingwood has set the world right.

"He's kind of a genius."

Who's he talking about, you might ask.

Well. None other than KP. Apparently he is a genius.

And what's this about him not scoring any runs?

Well, Paul says: "He can turn it on."

Is batting as simple as turning on a switch? If so, why has he been playing so badly? Why doesn't he just leave the switch on? Is this some environmental rubbish? Who cares about global warming when it comes to cricket?

"It's probably his downfall that he's such a good player."

Yes, that's right, Colly. It really is awful when you're supposed to be a good player, and everyone says you're a good player (including KP, who's never short of telling everyone how great he is), and then you actually fail to be a good player.

What's left for KP to do?

NWG has the simple answer.

Score a double century to bat South Africa out of the game. Actually participate in the field.

It really is that simple.


Stani Army said...

Why did he turn it off?

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Exactly Stani. Exactly.

Stani Army said...

You can say that again.

Me thinks it's TinkerBell's fault. See, I theorize that you can only have so many 'switch on-ers' in a team at any one time. Since TinkerBell's 'on', someone had to switch off in order to maintain this delicate balance we see throughout the universe. That someone was KP...this time.

Then again, Cauliflower may not even be talking about cricket...could be poker, pub quizzes...anything. What you think of my theory though? I was thinking of sending it to Duckworth and Lewis and asking them to integrate it into their method. That would make the D/L method more precise knowing whether the remaining batsmen or bowlers were switched on or off. Ingenious eh?

SixSixEight said...

It could be that Trotty has become the keeper of the switch?

He is standing by that switch, and it's turned off. But KP knows that Jonny is tougher than he looks and the Saffer crowd don't boo him.

It's taking time for KP to come to terms with this situation. He is not ready to deal with it yet.