Friday, 15 January 2010

What's That? NWG Can't Hear You

So NWG accepted that there would be changes to the cricket world in this decade. England might win occasionally. Australia may even lose. Matthew Hoggard could become a Sky Sports commentator (oh how joyous that would be).

But not this.

To refer or not to refer.

Well. It's there. So you might as well. Batsmen don't walk. Umpires are often rubbish.

But not the Third Umpire.

Yes, the great umpire that is Daryl Harper has messed up (insert necessary expletive here) again. And this time he's not even on the field.

Now it's the microphone's fault.

Graeme Smith was technically out. Caught behind Ryan Sidebottom (yes, NWG knows that's a bit of a shock. He can take wickets - well, not this time, but you know what NWG means). No response from the umpire. England appeal.

And what happens?

Daryl Harper can't hear the nick. The huge sound of bat on ball. It's deafening. Squirrels in NWG's garden hear it thinking that a tree is coming down. He gives it not out.

Turns out he won't turn the volume up on his headphones.

Can someone remind NWG of the point of having a referral system if it isn't used properly?

Harper - get thee to a nunnery. Immediately.


SixSixEight said...

I thought you would be overjoyed - makes Ryan look crapper than he really is. He has to get Smith out twice with this new review system to record one wicket.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

That is true, 668. Good point.

Stani Army said...

See, it's all your fault Nightmare. When will you accept that I was right about your supernatural powers? You use 'em without even knowing. You mess up Bottomside's figures and then you bring the rain. You're wicked you a good way.

SixSixEight said...

Wrong target - how about acting on Barbie instead - Sidey and Onions would have been a wicket taking combination under these conditions!

Stani Army said...

"These conditions"? Rain 668? Why are they allowed to bowl in the rain? You just wanna ruin Ryan's hair don't you? Good plan.

SixSixEight said...

No not that rain. The slightly more interesting [bowler friendly] wicket [than some of the other pitches - but I don't have TV footage so could be way out on that].

Remember I like Ryan's hair.

And lo - he has just got Kallis - that Ryan and his hair.

Stani Army said...

I know, I know.

No footage? At least you have sound....spare a thought for poor Daryl Harper :)

Ryan's hair got Kallis. The rest of him just happen to be in the right place at the right time.

I support gingers. They'll be extinct in a few years unless we start setting them up together. Really, I saw a documentary on it. So, Ryan Bottomside and Andrew McDonald, I hereby name you husband and....hold on a minute, that's not gonna work is it?

Stani Army said...

I'm disappointed with you by the way Nightmare. Yes :(

What about the behaviour of the English players and coach? Wasn't it Flower who accused Soufrica of being pernickety over Broard's blatant ball tampering?

If I was the ECB, I'd tell Flower "Look petal, shut your gob, keep out of the limelight and it may funnel down to the players who are behaving like imbeciles at the moment".

The whole English team seem to have turned into Broad. They've even turned the gentleman Strauss into an irrational excretory opening.

Unknown said...

I cant believe that most of the commentators seem to think reviews should only be initiated by the umpires if they are in doubt. If they brought that in, it would be just like the way runouts are done now. The umpires would not want to make any tough decisions and would simply refer everything so the 3rd ump gets blamed, not them.