Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Andrew Strauss: The Musical

Opening number:

Andrew is on the stage alone (under spotlight). He is wearing his whites and holding a cricket bat in one hand and a ball in the other.

Music starts.


I'm tired of all the fuss and the fighting,
All I want to do for England is to win,
Bangladesh is far and Cooky needs a chance,
It can't all be on my shoulders.

Little dance.

When I was young, I wanted to play for England,
Now that's happened and I all I get is grief.
Why why why why can't I be like Ponting?

The rest of the England team come out all wearing their whites.

Alastair Cook steps in to the spotlight (needs ridiculous amounts of eyeliner and mascara).


Yes, I'm not the greatest.
Yes, I'm still young.
But I can really bat and be captain,
It's only Bangladesh after all.

Kevin Pietersen:

I messed up my chance by trying to rule the world,
Now all I have is Jessica and a baby on the way,
I've forgotten how to hit the ball,
But that's fine,
It's a small part of playing.

Everyone dances for a while.

Stuart Broad comes to the front of the stage (we've tried, but he really can't sing, so he needs to speak his lines).


My head has got too big,
I think I'm better than I am,
I won the Oval Test after all,
Where would England be without me?

Daryl Harper comes out stage right. The England team surround him. We hear him yell:


I'm sorry. It will never happen ag..........

Curtain down. End of Act I.


Stani Army said...

Are you ok Mare?

The Nightwatchgirl said...


Stani Army said...

There there now. Things will be just fine as soon as Cookie gets back from Bangladesh having lost the Tests. See, no one cheers you up like I do.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

True Stani - what would NWG do without you?

Unknown said...

I cant wait for the next production, Freddy Flintoff: Superstar. Chorus of hundreds. Freddy, robed in white doing dramatic poses, heroically dragging his mortally wounded knee about the set, bathing in the spotlight.

A star-studded West End cast: Harmy as Simon Peter, KP as Judas the despicable traitor, Bell as doubting Thomas, Vaughan as John the Baptist, Broady as Mary Magdalene, Geoff Miller as Pilate, Aussie team as the evil Romans.

Cheap Cosmetics said...

In this episode of Wogma, Meetu & I reviewed 4 movies. Well, actually only 3 because the 4th movie got less than 5 seconds on

Cheap Cosmetics said...

In this episode of Wogma, Meetu & I reviewed 4 movies. Well, actually only 3 because the 4th movie got less than 5 seconds on

Stani Army said...

I'm not sure Mare. Actually, knowing you, you'd probably carry on without a thought :(

I think we can do a re-make of MacBeth. Ricky Ponting can be King Duncan and Harmison can be Lady MacBeth. Harmy bowls a bouncer into Ricky's head and blood spurts everywhere. Harmy gets some on his hands and in trying to get rid of it says:

"Out damned spot! Out I say!...Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?"

Stani Army said...

Is Kev married to that Jessica?