Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Andrew Strauss: The Musical
Andrew is on the stage alone (under spotlight). He is wearing his whites and holding a cricket bat in one hand and a ball in the other.
I'm tired of all the fuss and the fighting,
All I want to do for England is to win,
Bangladesh is far and Cooky needs a chance,
It can't all be on my shoulders.
When I was young, I wanted to play for England,
Now that's happened and I all I get is grief.
Why why why why can't I be like Ponting?
The rest of the England team come out all wearing their whites.
Alastair Cook steps in to the spotlight (needs ridiculous amounts of eyeliner and mascara).
Yes, I'm not the greatest.
Yes, I'm still young.
But I can really bat and be captain,
It's only Bangladesh after all.
I messed up my chance by trying to rule the world,
Now all I have is Jessica and a baby on the way,
I've forgotten how to hit the ball,
But that's fine,
It's a small part of playing.
Everyone dances for a while.
Stuart Broad comes to the front of the stage (we've tried, but he really can't sing, so he needs to speak his lines).
My head has got too big,
I think I'm better than I am,
I won the Oval Test after all,
Where would England be without me?
Daryl Harper comes out stage right. The England team surround him. We hear him yell:
I'm sorry. It will never happen ag..........
Curtain down. End of Act I.