Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Percentages

NWG would like to believe that today's game against Ireland will be easy. A walk in the park. No problem.

But this is England we're talking about and that means banana skins are everywhere on that cricket field.

NWG has a nasty feeling that Irishman Eoin Morgan may have the odd pang of guilt for switching sides.

KP will feel that Ireland is far beneath him and think he's better than he is and be out for a duck.

Ryan Sidebottom will play (definite part in England's downfall yesterday).

NWG gives England a 40% chance of winning.

A 60% chance that Ryan's hair gets all frizzy from the humidity.

A 90% chance that Ireland win the toss.

A 95% chance that England will suffer from an unlucky D/L decision.

A 35.78% chance that KP will run off the field mid-game because his wife has gone in to labour.

A 1% chance that the South Africans in the England team realise that they picked the wrong country, try to get back in the South African side and get told they're not good enough.

A 14.93% chance that Stuart Broad cuts Ryan's hair in his sleep.

A 0.06% chance that Graeme Swann's car turns up in Guyana.

19 comments:

Stani Army said...

Mare,
Can I have that in fractions please?

The Nightwatchgirl said...

No

Stani Army said...

Fine. I was gonna have a word upstairs and sort the rain and the dropping of Bottomside out but I'm not sure anymore.

I did hear there's a ½ chance of Bottomside playing and a ⅜ chance of it raining. You didn't want that in percentages did you?

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Stani, NWG would be extremely grateful if you could remove Ryan from the England side.

Stani Army said...

Done. Hoggard...I mean Anderson's in.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Thanks Stani

mcspud1947 said...

Dear Ms NWG,

Many thanks for your explanation of overseas players playing for the England National Team. Intriguing. My researchers { me and Wisden } tell me Mike Denness was from Scotland and MCC Cowdrey was born in India.
You can also qualify for England very easily. Just have a tattoo of the England logo somewhere visible on your body.
Now, could you please explain Ms NWG what a Duckworth/Lewis is? Please take into consideration :
a. I'm an American
b. I'm 63 years of age so please be brief
c. I have a degree in Quantum Mechanics and Applied Mathematics and still don't understand the D/L method.

douglas

ps. I'm reliably informed that you are never wrong and know everything

Stani Army said...

Well you are putting in a good word to Melua for me so this is the least I can do.

I'm just gonna go and have a word about the rain.

mcspud1947 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stani Army said...

Mare, the Bigman said I've run out of wishes for this week, the Bottomside dropping was my last one. So, I asked if he could put Bottomside back in and accept my no rain request, which he did. So Bottomside's back in but it won't rain. He did say Bottomside will get a couple of wickets.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Stani - you lied about the rain. NWG is very disappointed.

Douglas - NWG takes in to consideration your age, where you live, and your education history when she tells you that no one understands how D/L works and that's why it's brilliant. This means people can generally make it up. Which is why England lose constantly: because they can never figure out how to make themselves win.

p.s. a degree in quantum mechanics and applied mathematics? Are you not Duckworth or Lewis?

Reveal your surname at once.

mcspud1947 said...

Dear Ms NWG,

Thank you once more for your insightful explanation.

I applaud the fact that everyone makes up their own explanation and consequently nobody can disprove the theory.

That is how, exactly 40 years ago, at the tender age of 23 , I was able to fool the examiners by stating my now familiar { and if I may say quite famous } Theory of Quantum Mechanics as applied to Astro-Physics ie if you cannot measure it, it cannot exist.

If only that were true Ms NWG concerning the flying tresses of that 1960s throwback and infamous dibbly-dobbler bowler .

re my surname.
Ah if only I could Ms NWG but my work here at the laboratories in Los Alamos NM prevents me from disclosure.

As ever I look forward to your incisive and logical comments on the illustrious game of Cricket.

douglas

Stani Army said...

Nooo Mare. I didn't lie, I just asked the Bigman and the rest was up to him :(

To be honest, I think what He did was clever. He's taken England through to the Super8s without them doing anything. They must all be fresh as daisies. Not only that, just before He brought the rain in during the Ireland game, He ensured Ryan got hit for two fours just to bring his bad performances to the attention of the captain and coach. Clever He is. We only see His wisdom in hindsight Mare.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

You are so full of wisdom Stani

Stani Army said...

It can be a terrible burden at such a young age Mare.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

NWG understands.

Stani Army said...

Yes, I knew she would. Takes one to know one.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

indeed

Stani Army said...

Absolutely