Tuesday, 8 June 2010
NWG Is Lazy, But Not As Bad As Some
NWG always believed herself slightly lazy - she is a cricket fan after all - the height of laziness, sitting around all day and not doing much.
But then it came as some surprise to learn that the ECB are lazier than NWG.
They've decided that after two Test matches (especially the last one, that was an incredibly gruelling three days) that they should rest Steve Finn.
And instead of the ECB saying that they are lazy and they want to impose their laziness on their team, they've instead started calling it a "strengthening programme."
NWG has therefore decided to provide a glossary of terms the ECB like to use.
ECB: "We haven't decided which bowlers to take to the Ashes."
Translation: "We know exactly who we're going to take right now and we're not changing our minds no matter what happens."
ECB: "Ryan Sidebottom is an asset to the England squad."
Translation: "We put him in the squad to tease him. We need a laugh every now and again."
ECB: " Playing Bangladesh was worthwhile."
Translation: "We make some decent money out of it."
ECB: "We like having diversity in the England team."
Translation: "We don't care where you were born, if you can hold a bat or bowl a ball, you can qualify for England."