Friday, 17 September 2010
The Many Exploits Of Andrew Flintoff
Freddy has abandoned England. Fair enough. But to launch an assault on our TV screens is just one step too far. NWG understands he is in talks to do a series of reality shows. NWG has her own ideas.
1. Taking a pedalo across the Atlantic.
2. How many pints of beer does it take for Freddy to fall down in a live show.
3. Gathering all ex-England cricketers to buy a vineyard and make them pick all the grapes.
4. Watching Freddy watch paint dry or grass growing.
5. An Osborne's style show of his family, with him assuming the role of Ozzy: swearing, stumbling around his big house and generally having no clue as to what the hell is happening (not too much of a stretch).
6. Freddy in the Australian jungle alone while the Ashes is happening. Boring, but funny.
7. A Shane and Freddy chat show interviewing heavyweights such as The Saturdays, Jedward and possibly Kerry Katona.
8. Celebrity rehab.
9. A part in a soap, preferably neighbours. Recurring character, perhaps a long lost relative of Charlene.
10. Freddy's journey to becoming a life coach/hypnotherapist.
11. To appear on Dragon's Den complete with ridiculous invention pertaining to alleviate knee pain when actually it is a sock from Marks and Spencers.
This should keep him busy while he learns how to commentate on cricket.