Well, it was none other than Ryan Sidebottom - NWG most favourite player - demanding an interview on NWG.
She could hardly say no, could she?
So here it is. In full.
NWG: "Hello?" (Yawn.)
Ryan: "Is this NWG?
NWG: "Yes. Who's this?"
Ryan: "It's Ryan. Please interview me so I can make people like me."
NWG: (Yawn.) "Er. Ok. Anything in particular you want to talk about?"
Ryan: "Yes. My hair."
NWG: "Alrighty. How's your hair?"
Ryan: "It's luscious. It's thick and curly. I don't need to be taking pills like Michael and Warney to keep it all long and lovely."
NWG: "Good for you. (She thinks he's after sponsorship for a brand of shampoo) What's your hair routine?"
Ryan: "I'm glad you asked. On a match day I have to be at the ground at 8am, so I wake up at 5am to start getting ready. I wash my hair with Frizz Ease shampoo and conditioner. Then I comb it very carefully...."
NWG: "Right." (Yawn)
Ryan: "....then I call my hairdresser, who always stays in the room next to me and he comes over to put the rollers in."
NWG: "So your hair isn't naturally curly?"
Ryan: "God no, it's straight as a ruler. But I do feel that because of the shape of my face, that curls do help me look a little bit slimmer...."
NWG: "Right. Of course."
Ryan: "So Jamie, that's my hairdresser, then blow dries my hair with the curlers in and Bob's your Uncle, my curls are back."
NWG: "Do you use any products to keep the curls all bouncy throughout the day?"
Ryan: "Just a bit of serum and I'm ready to go really. In my early days on the cricket circuit I had really short hair, I just couldn't be bothered with the styling, but I knew one day I would play for England and that meant you needed a good hairstyle. I mean, look at KP when he first started playing for England. That badger style - it was genius. And he got noticed. That's all I've ever wanted in my whole life. To be noticed and admired. It's especially brilliant when I get a wicket..."
NWG: (Inaudible sound of stifled laughter mixed with the sound of NWG's tea being knocked over.)
Ryan: "...Because all the boys come over and rub my head and stroke my hair. I love that part. That's what gives me the fire to take wickets. The admiration from my team."
NWG: (Inaudible. Sounds like NWG is saying "It's the shock, more like.")
Ryan: "If I ever start losing my hair like Straussy or Trott, I'm going to retire."
NWG: "Have you ever thought about wearing a wig if that happens?"
Ryan: "No."
NWG: "Who's your hair idol?"
Ryan: "That's an easy one. Botham in the '80s."
NWG: "Well, thanks Ryan. That's been a brilliant and insightful chat."
Ryan: "Thanks NWG. Please can you stop writing horrible things about me now?"
NWG: Click. Dial tone............