Thursday, 25 March 2010

Anderson The Mystery

Although we are firmly in the twenty first century, there remains a few mysteries in this world.

For instance, why Americans don't like cricket. Or why England can't win in Australia.

But the mystery for now surrounds James Anderson's knee.

Turns out, no one knows what's wrong with it. And it's a given that perhaps Jimmy doesn't know, considering he's not a knee surgeon, but the knee surgeon didn't know either.

NWG has two options:

Option one: There is in fact nothing wrong with his knee. It's all in his mind. He was tired from last year, he saw Bangladesh on the calender and thought to himself, nope, not this tour. I'm skipping it. This is perfectly plausible. Strauss has a legitimate excuse given he has to use his brain more than anyone else in the team. But Anderson? No excuse aside from injury would work. So he uses the old 'oh, it feels a bit tender,' points to a certain area on his knee and says 'there, that's where it hurts.'

Option two: Anderson does actually have a knee injury. It's there. Somewhere. Just no one knows where or how to find it or how to cure it. NWG has a sub-theory on this: voodoo. Australia have combined their efforts, and when everyone thinks they're having tea during a test, they're actually chanting around a fire with Anderson's knee on a picture board with wickets stuck in to it. NWG has no clue how to stop this from happening, aside from the England team doing the same thing to Mitchell Johnson, Ricky Ponting, oh fine, NWG means the whole team.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

England Win. Oh Yes. It's True

After all the tension, when things looked like they could go either way, England rose above the pressure from a nation and won the series against Bangladesh today.

Alastair Cook has a 100% record as a captain (almost unheard of). Who needs Andrew whats-his-name?

The best news to come out of this tour is surely that Ryan Sidebottom has proven that he's too old/too moody/has hair too long/is a pain/has an ego that is disproportionate to his level of skill and will now hopefully be permanently dropped from the England side.

Which means there's room for one Matthew Hoggard in the team.