Saturday, 10 July 2010

Let NWG Explain

There won't be any excuses here.

Bangladesh won because England couldn't score the runs.

This is why:

1. England can't win every match every time. This would just be boring. And would mean similarities to Australia which would always be bad.

2. No matter what can be said of Jonathan Trott, he's not really a speedy run scorer.

3. Bell is evolutionary now comparable to footballers and their biologically defunct metatarsals. For that very reason he should never play cricket again.

4. Bangladesh actually played better than England. Due to the tough laws of cricket karma, this means that they should have and did win.

NWG is not despairing. This does not mark the end of the world. This does not mean that England will lose the Ashes. This does not mean the entire team should be dropped or a captain lost.

As it quite clearly states on NWG's tea cup:

Keep calm and carry on.

Sunday, 4 July 2010

News

NWG would like to announce normal proceedings will hopefully resume next week.

She's been unexpectedly forced to not watch cricket (curse the system).

This will end on thursday (fingers crossed).

Meanwhile, on other news, England lost again. This is fine. NWG is not concerned.

But she would like to officially announce she is centimetres away from a ticket to Brisbane in November.

Fingers crossed.

p.s. Shaun Tait should play Test cricket, starting in 2011.
p.p.s. Ponting should retire in October.
p.p.s.s. Steven Smith needs to go back to school and finish his exams.