Saturday, 18 September 2010

Sometimes It's Just Too Easy



Old man Ponting (he is 35 after all and in sporting years that is approximately 89) is trying to prove he has still got it ('it' being defined as an Australian captain who is scarred and has a short temper).

This means going to the gym and working off all those barbies.

This also means (apparently) wearing a plastic jacket to exercise and turning the temperature up high enough to fry an egg (what this achieves is yet unknown other than to sweat out the Fosters).

Oh Ricky. Thanks for making NWG's day.

Friday, 17 September 2010

The Many Exploits Of Andrew Flintoff

Freddy has abandoned England. Fair enough. But to launch an assault on our TV screens is just one step too far. NWG understands he is in talks to do a series of reality shows. NWG has her own ideas.

1. Taking a pedalo across the Atlantic.

2. How many pints of beer does it take for Freddy to fall down in a live show.

3. Gathering all ex-England cricketers to buy a vineyard and make them pick all the grapes.

4. Watching Freddy watch paint dry or grass growing.

5. An Osborne's style show of his family, with him assuming the role of Ozzy: swearing, stumbling around his big house and generally having no clue as to what the hell is happening (not too much of a stretch).

6. Freddy in the Australian jungle alone while the Ashes is happening. Boring, but funny.

7. A Shane and Freddy chat show interviewing heavyweights such as The Saturdays, Jedward and possibly Kerry Katona.

8. Celebrity rehab.

9. A part in a soap, preferably neighbours. Recurring character, perhaps a long lost relative of Charlene.

10. Freddy's journey to becoming a life coach/hypnotherapist.

11. To appear on Dragon's Den complete with ridiculous invention pertaining to alleviate knee pain when actually it is a sock from Marks and Spencers.

This should keep him busy while he learns how to commentate on cricket.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

It's A Sad Day For England

Yes, he most likely would never have played again for England, and yes, he was probably passed his prime, but to hear those actual words that Freddy has retired from cricket is still sad.

NWG will miss him winning games for England.

She will not miss the Jesus pose when taking a wicket, or the way he chewed gum like a cow eating its lunch, but he remains as one of the greatest players of the game.

If only he could pass on some of his secrets the other England players.

NWG gives it three months before he has a new book out. She will not be reading it.

Farewell Freddy, thanks for everything.

Monday, 13 September 2010

Five Most Annoying Things In Cricket

1. Cheats. Self-explanatory.

2. Time difference. Making listening to the cricket (aside from the Brisbane Test when NWG will be actually watching the game) a nightmare. Should NWG just not adjust to the time difference when she returns so she can stay up and watch all the games?

3. Ryan Sidebottom. Yes, he has become less annoying now that he only plays in the Twenty20 games, but still - his hair, his attitude, he whole purpose of being annoys NWG.

4. October. There is no cricket.

5. Newspaper columnists. There are no girls out there writing about cricket. This is wrong. Just because they didn't captain a side, does that mean they don't understand the game?

Five Most Annoying Things In Cricket

1. Cheats. Self-explanatory.

2. Time difference. Making listening to the cricket (aside from the Brisbane Test when NWG will be actually watching the game) a nightmare. Should NWG just not adjust to the time difference when she returns so she can stay up and watch all the games?

3. Ryan Sidebottom. Yes, he has become less annoying now that he only plays in the Twenty20 games, but still - his hair, his attitude, his whole purpose of being annoys NWG.

4. October. There is no cricket.

5. Newspaper columnists. There are no girls out there writing about cricket. This is wrong. Just because they didn't captain a side, does that mean they don't understand the game?