Friday, 21 January 2011

Shoulders Are A Tricky Joint

Poor Nathan. No sooner had he got chucked out of the team for no reason, replaced by a young spinner who didn't seem to know what he was doing, who in turn got replaced by another guy who definitely didn't know what he was doing and then got reselected after selling all is Australia kit, rolled on a ball and dislocated his shoulder.

Life is cruel.

Still, there was an upside. Australia won. Again. This is getting tiresome.

NWG doesn't know what to suggest other than:

1. Bat better.
2. Bowl better.

Is cricket really that simple?

Thursday, 20 January 2011

It All Makes Sense

Graeme Swann has a "strangely deformed left knee cap."

He's out for two weeks.

It all makes sense now.

Only great cricketers have a deformity.

Ricky Ponting: Deformed face which magnetically attracts cricket balls.

Chris Tremlett: Deformed legs, arms, torso, neck having been stretched to oblivion.

Andrew Flintoff: Liver, obviously.

Alastair Cook: Deformed eyelashes. Weirdly long.

Kevin Pietersen: Ego. Greatly deformed and out of all proportion.

Sachin Tendulkar: Lack of growth hormone (also applies to Ian Bell).

Dale Steyn: Deformed by looking like Roland Rat.

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

ODI's: Are They Worth It?

Well, quite a lot has happened since NWG's last post.

Well, not that much, but Australia are winning again. And that's not so bad. It makes it interesting again.

NWG was kidding. She has not adopted the Australia of old mental state. She is well aware that England are just a team who can lose as well as win.

But what's with all the booing?

She doesn't get it. Are Australian fans mean or just bad sports?

Answers on a postcard please.