Friday, 4 March 2011

Luck Of The Irish

England lost. And then came the criticism.

And no one thought to mention hair. And hair colour to be more precise.

It is a known fact that dyeing one's hair increases exponentially the chances of winning.

Those who need to have pink/green/blue hair:

KP.
Ian Bell.
Andrew Strauss....alright the whole England team.

NWG knows that Clarins to a cracker of a job at covering the grey. NWG feels she should send over a large pack to the side immediately.

Monday, 28 February 2011

OK. There Is Cricket. NWG Is Interested. Promise

So there was the Ashes. Then the ODI series. Then a break. Then the World Cup.

NWG never thought she would say this, but there is just too much cricket.

And now she'll move on.

First things first: the draw. Bravo Andrew Strauss. NWG knew you had it in you. And Ian Bell: start replacing your fluids before you get cramp. That's just fitness 101.

But now to the important bit. It seems the cricketers have not been doing so well without NWG.

Ricky, this is for you:

What to do when stressed and you want to break the television with your box:

1. Sing the song from Sound of Music. Raindrops and roses etc.
2. Think of the Urn...(no wait, that's wrong).
3. Calmly discuss your problems in a rational manner, knowing you can only control so much.
4. Run when your partner says run.
5. Stop assuming all fielders are inadequate.
6. Have a spicy curry.
7. Look at Michael Clarke and see the future of Australian cricket (no, wait, that won't help at all).
8. Realise Australia can't rule forever.
9. Remember that every cloud has a silver lining.
10. Violence is never the answer.
11. It's only a game.
12. At least it wasn't against the Netherlands....
13. Retire.
14. Say things like: 'At the end of the day.' That always seems to help.
15. Buy the DVD boxset of the Ashes. Seems to have done the trick for NWG.